I’ve been caught up in a period of self-evaluation and restructuring of values, causing me to question what I consider to be beautiful. I’m afraid it’s a word all too easily tossed around. It can be empowering yet incredibly damaging when withheld or misplaced.
For too long I prized my skin’s beauty because I thought it was my biggest asset. I have always been overweight, so makeup artistry skills were my best shot at being beautiful. How messed up. It wasn’t until I became a mom and lost the ability to shower more than once a week (you think I’m kidding) that I was forced to redefine that word.
Beautiful. I googled it and got this definition:
1. pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically
2. of a very high standard; excellent
Both vague and specific. Attainable yet impossible. Uplifting but damaging.
Beautiful. What a dangerous concept.
I don’t ever want to make another woman feel unworthy or ugly just because I put on eyeliner well. I certainly don’t want to waste my life only trying to be something completely subjective to modern culture. What I do want is to support my sisters, and brothers, in learning to value ourselves for what we are: people made in the image of an infinitely powerful and awesome God. We are beautiful because He is beautiful.
“What matters is not your outer appearance— the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes— but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle gracious kind that God delights in.” (1 Peter 3:3-4 msg)
I don’t think enjoying makeup and fashion is wrong; placing all my self-worth, in such things, is.
My beauty is in my faith in God, in how I treat my sweet husband (who is a ROCK STAR at reminding me of why I am beautiful), what kind of mother I am to my sons, and how I treat everyone around me. Someday, my already vibrant gray hairs will take over my whole head, my baggy eyes will droop even lower (as will everything else, ahem), but I will still be beautiful.
So I choose to enjoy more moments like these: no makeup, bed-head mornings after a sleepless night with my little men. Late-morning coffee watching the news with my hubby. Think of what I’d miss if I cared more about curling my hair and wearing the right amount of mascara. I’m a work in progress, but I am beautiful.
Crystal-Lee is a wife, mom to two boys and freelance makeup artist. Her passion and focus has always been in music. She started learning piano at the age of 5, and continued to study different instruments until she joined choir in high school. She was drawn to classical voice and studied Vocal Performance at Azusa Pacific University. Looking for a way to use her talent ministry, she finally joined a worship team in 2011 and refocused in a more contemporary style. In 2012, she and her husband moved to Arkansas to work for New Life Church where she was blessed to join in their worship leadership and learn amazing tools for implementing safe singing practices, a joyful and physically encouraging style of worship, and freedom to let the Holy Spirit move. She now has a heart to help other singers keep their voices healthy and gain confidence as humble leaders who usher our brothers and sisters into a time with God.As well as her passion for worship, Crystal-Lee works as a freelance makeup artist focusing on weddings and photography. She strives to help women feel natural and confident. Their beauty is always enough; her job is to help them have fun.