Have you ever had this conversation with yourself?
Me: “UH, OH….everything is going smoothly. My world is in alignment. I keep getting the best parking spots in the lot. My check book is balanced. The laundry is all caught up and I haven’t lost anything in days. I even ate that tuna I left in the fridge for a week and didn’t get sick!! Dear goodness, something BAD is surely going to happen!!”
Then IT happens, I wake up, and there is a tilt in my world. My mail gets lost. Parking spaces become scarce. I manage to lose my car keys every single day for a week. I eat a saltine cracker and get sick – who gets sick on a saltine cracker??
I have been really pondering this part of myself, lately. I have come to realize that basically, I do not really believe I deserve the good days. My self-worth has taken a few blows over the years that has left me believing in the words “You don’t deserve it.”
I would like to tell you, that once I realized that I was happier in the trials then in the blessings, I completely cured myself of the “I don’t deserve it” garbage. I haven’t, not completely, not yet. BUT, now that I am aware of this little bit of messiness in my life, I am in the process of cleaning it up.
When I get that great parking spot I tell myself: “Hey, smile – God, saved you that spot.” When the bad days come, I remind myself that I have a God that is bigger and better. And best of all – believes I am bigger and better. So, I ask Him to be in the middle of my emotional turmoil. I stop and enjoy the days full of blessings, and I refuse to let the trials make me feel that I was meant to be in the muck. I refuse the lie that I “deserved” the muck.
I am His creation, He loves me, and even though I am flawed, and down-right impossible at times, He will always pull me out and up. I am starting to believe that I can rejoice without worry in my blessings. I can believe in His love and faithfulness in the trials.
In His eyes, you and I, deserve all the goodness that comes our way.
I am learning that the key to feeling deserving, is to thank God in the little things, Do not wait (or expect) others to make you feel deserving. Take hold of where you stand with God – your creator. Do not concern yourself with impressing others. Live to impress Him. Do all things as if unto God.
Whatever you do – do it heartily – as to the lord, and not for man.
We need to understand that every aspect of our lives belongs to God, and not to man. We must grasp that today’s trouble, can be tomorrow’s glory. We then can grasp the truth of just how wonderful each and every one of us truly are. We can then be comfortable in the blessings – knowing that each and every one is sent our way because of God’s love, and we deserve that love.
From the parking spot, to the healing of a loved one – He is in it all. You are His child – you have a special place in your creator’s heart. You deserve His love and His blessings. I am not only talking to you, my dear friends, but to myself. I will keep repeating and repeating these words until I ingrain them in my heart and soul.
I refuse to get lost in the trials of life. I am going to embrace the truth that I am deserving of all that God’s love and goodness has to offer.
Please join me in claiming what is ours for the taking. Love, laughter, goodness, kindness, joy, and a peace that defies all understanding. I am starting to accept that I deserve these things – and I hope that you will do the same, accept nothing less then God’s best.
DeMarie Rossi lives in Murrieta California with her son and daughter-in-law and two lovely grand-daughters. She attended Maria College in NY where she received her accounting accreditation and business degree. During her time as a military spouse, she attended the United States Air Force Dental and Surgical tech program, receiving her nationwide accreditation in infection control and the treatment of medically compromised patients. As a certified HIV counselor she spearheaded the first New York State HIV grant under Ryan White, to ensure that dental care was provided to the HIV community.
DeMarie was also a columnist for the Troy Record in NY for 4 years, where she shared her passion for jewelry design and glass work. She was born in New York, but has lived in; Texas, Italy, Germany, Florida and Alaska. While living in Alaska she flew into remote villages with a dental team to provide care. During this time she learned how to pilot a single engine Cessna. Today, she has decided to keep her feet on the ground and retire in lovely Southern California.
In 2012 DeMarie received the prestigious John L. Treadway Award in recognition of her 14 year journey of caretaking for her mother who suffered with Alzheimer’s Disease. This experience gave her a unique insight into the world of care giving, and the challenges faced by those who take on this soul searching experience.
DeMarie has been a glassblower since 1993 and she now creates with glass full-time. Her dream is to empower others to find a true friendship with God and to journey with those that want to serve Him by serving others.