Her beat-up Chevy Blazer rolled down the narrow, old street until she found a parking spot. She arrived. As she parked, her eyes lingered on her sister’s beach apartment. For weeks she had an unexplainable and inescapable pull on her heart to be there. She was grateful for a new start, but wasn’t sure what to expect from her weird, religious sister whom she’d barely spoken to in two years.
She wondered if Christianity was really a cult, like she had been warned. Staring off into the endless ocean water, she knew her normal daily routine was about to change. Breakfast usually consisted of a shot of Jack Daniels and a bong load. From there, it only got worse. One stipulation her sister had was that drugs, alcohol and cigarettes were not allowed. Not sure if she was ready for what lay ahead, she deeply inhaled the familiar salty air and stepped out of the car. Before unloading her things, she made sure her drug stash was safely hidden away, never intending to obey the rules. She slowly made her way through the quiet courtyard and up the weathered stairs to the front door.
She smelled like smoke, was tattooed, had a tongue ring and wore a nose-ring. The earring in her nose was a reminder of her Dad who passed away when she was 16. Her arms were scarred from a drug-induced night of scratching at them until they were a bloody mess. Her heart was hurt and broken from sexual abuse. She felt empty and dead inside from all the drunken, drug filled days.
Standing at the door she couldn’t help but wonder how she made it there alive. Many times she tried to overdose to escape the pain and heartache in this world but it never worked. She never understood why. Her nerves trembled as she finally knocked on the door. Although she was hesitant, it was good to see her happy, smiling sister.
As she stepped over the threshold something happened. She was immediately engulfed in a heavy, thick cloud of what can only be described as overwhelming love. It was so thick it felt like you could cut it with a knife. She had never experienced anything like that before. It was so real, so tangible, so unexpected. Overwhelmed, confused and convicted, she went straight to the bathroom and immediately removed her tongue ring. She didn’t understand why, but she knew she had to remove it. As she did, the walls of rebellion fell and she felt an immediate change. She sighed with relief although she still didn’t understand the feelings she was experiencing.
Throughout the day, her sister casually and lovingly spoke about Jesus and salvation. She knew this was different and that God was drawing her to Him. Later that night, alone in the dark living room, that broken girl cried out to Jesus. She repented and begged for His forgiveness. Tears poured down her face as the beautiful exchange happened…Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice for her many sins. Jesus now lived in her heart. Could it really be that simple? It was. She was instantly delivered from all her addictions, cravings, burdens and fears and later noticed that her yellowed eyes had turned white. She was completely changed in a moment.
Eighteen years ago, that broken and addicted girl was me. My life went from dark to light in a single moment. I began learning to hear His voice and He started to show me His love and power through many miracles. Not only my own miracle of salvation and deliverance but miracles from healed injuries, opening barren wombs, raising the dead and even little things like causing a hole to disappear in a beautiful and expensive gown.
I can not deny that God IS real and how amazing and loving He is. I learned that there is one important thing to remember…I did nothing to be saved…I did nothing for miracles to happen…it was all Jesus and all by grace. It’s a reminder that we can never become good enough or deserving enough for His love and mercy.
Jesus didn’t save me because I was a good person. Miracles didn’t happen because I was a good Christian. God saved me because He wanted to. He is a good Father who wants everyone to come to Him as they are. There are no requirements, no mandatory titles, awards, or status. He will shape you as you spend time with Him and He will perform miracles through you because of His great desire for all to see how real and loving He is.
Lavender Morningsong (yes, that is her name) is a southern California native. She grew up in Leucadia, San Diego as a beach baby and lived on what she likes to call a mini-farm. She lived a wild life until meeting the Lord when she was 19 years of age.
Lavender has been married to her best friend for 15 years and has three spunky children to keep her busy. She has done many things and held different occupations, but her one passion is the Lord. Through every season of life, her one desire is to grow closer to the Lord and be transformed into His image. Through her experiences and imperfections, she hopes to inspire others to not give up hope, to feel normal, to laugh, and continue to run this crazy, beautiful race we are running.
See Her Posts At: Lavender Lloyd