Not everyone is blessed to have a best friend that you can tell all your most intimate secrets to. You know those secrets that only you and God know about? That’s the kind of friend that you place in your inner circle. I’ve been burned, hurt, betrayed, back-stabbed, talked about, thrown under the bus more than I’d like to admit by friends. Yes, even by Christian friends. This betrayal I call sheep bites!
I had the best friendship ever. We were friends for fifteen years. We had the same passion for the Lord. Most of our conversations were about Jesus. She was a trusted friend.
One day I caught my dear friend in a lie. I gave her so many chances to make it right. To come clean. Then I started noticing a continuous pattern in her. Something that I never saw before. Unfortunately, I started to see it in her other relationships too.
This was a really unhealthy relationship for me. After much prayer, many tears and searching my heart. I realized I needed to cut off our friendship. It was like a painful divorce. This is how I recovered from my sheep bites:
- I forgave the pain she caused me (let go of the pain).
- Then, I acknowledge how it made me feel (betrayed, hurt, not loved etc.).
- Next, I blessed her (wished for her love, honesty, value etc.). The blessing part is very important.
I had a soul connection that I needed to give to God (some call it a soul tie).
- I told the Lord how much she meant to me.
- Acknowledged my loss and the emotional damage I had
- I forgive her and myself
- Surrendered all the pain by giving it to God
- Declared (out-loud) what I wanted back that I lost in the relationship (trust, healthy relationships, etc.)
- I canceled the soul connection (out-loud)
- Used my voice to speak truth about me, forgave and blessed her
I didn’t hear from her for a year…She never called or reached out to me.
Ouch! Bitten again…Repeat steps 1, 2 and 3 again.
My inner circle became smaller. But I learned a lot through this trial. Believe it or not, I once again have a friendship with her. It is different now, it doesn’t have the same closeness. I have set up healthy boundaries this time, I know who I am and I use my voice to stand up for what I believe. And I know how to pray for her and love her.
In His grip,