The other night, I was arguing with my middle child, Noah. Noah is a lover, he gives the best snuggles and he is as sweet as they come. Noah is also a dreamer and a brilliant thinker. There are so many things I love about my sweet boy. As much as I love my son, he can also drive me crazy with his forgetfulness and stubbornness.
So, back to the other night. We were arguing and so frustrated with each other! He couldn’t hear me and I couldn’t hear him – we weren’t getting through to each other and our volume was just increasing and increasing!
Finally, Noah yelled, “I feel like you don’t think I do anything good!”
“What, Noah? What are you talking about???”
He was wailing at this point and through tears, he said it again. “I feel like you don’t think I do anything good!”
To be honest, the last thing I wanted to do at that moment was to encourage my son! I was so frustrated, we had just been arguing, and my heart was full of unhappiness towards this kid! I started to get defensive too, telling myself that I had done so much to encourage this child, and that he needs to have a reality check because I’m a great mom! Haha!
Okay, so here I am – lost in my own thoughts. And my child is wailing before me.
Holy Spirit whispered to my heart. Put your pride down. You know what to do.
I was so angry that I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to take this moment and turn it into an encouragement fest for my child. I wanted to stay angry! I was justified! No way was I going to encourage him!
Holy Spirit whispered again. Put your anger away. Nothing good comes from that. You know what to do.
I was miserable. I felt stuck. I silently screamed at God, “OKAY FINE. HAVE IT YOUR WAY!”
I put my arms out to my son. Remember, he’s the cuddler. Snuggles are his love language. “Noah, let me hold you.”
Immediately, he jumped into my arms and melted. Crying and crying and crying. I apologized. I told him the truth about who he is. I told him all the ways that I am proud of him. All the things I love about him. All the ways he blesses me as his mom. I held him for a very long time.
Strangely, my anger was gone. My pride was obliterated. The only thing that was left was pure love and deep connection with my son. I was happy again, and so was my son. He got his needs met and I did too.
Here are a few things that I’ve been reminded of as I processed this event with the Lord. Firstly, I can’t wait until I feel like doing the right thing. It might never happen. But when I choose to do the right thing, my feelings will line up to the truth.
Secondly, speak life. It’s so easy to have a sharp tongue that cuts and wounds, or to hold onto anger and being “right”. But doing this always leads to more harm. When I put my pride down and choose the way of Christ, he leads me to speak life and to bring honor to others, even in the most difficult times! Speaking life will also bring me life and great joy! This is what we’re made for!
God bless you, reader. Together, let’s choose love and encouragement. Let’s speak life.