Let me explain.
For many of us, our childhood Christmases were red and green and sparkling with hope and possibility. Bright lights twinkled with our heart’s desire. The smell of food and the sounds of laughter are carved into our memories and all it takes is one sighting of the infamous red and green combination to bring that feeling to the forefront of our hearts.
But at some point, for many of us, the colors changed.
I’ll never forget the year that not one, but both of my grandmothers were in the hospital….and no joke, same hospital, same floor, a few rooms away from each other. Talk about a grey Christmas! My parents and I spent both Christmas Eve and Christmas day going back and forth between my grandma’s rooms trying to keep my grandfather’s spirits up and bring as much cheer to the two matriarchs who were devastated that their biggest productions of the year were not going to happen (one grandma would host Christmas Eve and the other would host Christmas day). Of course the hospital’s cafeteria was closed so we ventured out to find any open restaurant to have some kind of Christmas dinner. The knockoff Denny‘s equivalent we found didn’t help to bring any color to the moment….Just grey and very sad.
I don’t have to go into too much detail to tell you about when Christmas was black. Fresh divorce, living alone, no family (almost all recently diseased), and ugly crying all day on the couch.
There have been times when Christmas has felt more green than anything. A few years ago, my husband and I found ourselves both unemployed, penniless and totally at a loss as to how to pay rent or any of our bills, let alone provide even one gift for our girls on Christmas morning. We were thankful that our daughters were with their mom that year so we didn’t have to disappoint them with our financial reality.
You’ve never seen two more downtrodden people than my husband and I on the couch all day on Christmas with no kids, no money, and no cheer…only silent prayers and football on tv. But just like the Lord in his faithfulness, a friend of my husband stopped by late at night on Christmas day and gave him a card to thank him for helping with some personal fitness goals. In the card….$500. The friend said, please use this money to bless your family. He knew nothing of our situation. We were able to hit the stores early the day after Christmas and buy each girl a few things so that when they came back to us later that night, we had gifts under the tree (and money left over to get groceries).
There were many years of blue Christmases where nothing sparkled because without my mother and grandmothers, I couldn’t find the hope and promise that was supposed to be celebrated.
But then there was the yellow Christmas. Christmas day 2011, the day I met my future daughters. Hope and light came back into the picture. I never thought it would happen that way, but the Lord knew. I was given the best Christmas present ever…a family of my own.
And now, after a kaleidoscope of Christmases, I can honestly say Christmas is now red. It’s full of love, warmth, and truth. I’m able to see and celebrate the reason for the season. I am struck by the power of my Savior’s love and I marvel at the beauty of God’s great plan.
What color is your Christmas?
White: peaceful and pure?
Blue: painful and lonely?
Green: full of financial strife?
Black: hopeless and dark?
Whatever color your Christmas, the truth is, all color is beautiful. No matter what color, you have permission to feel and be just where you are. But, if I may, as one who has been through the many colors of Christmas, let me encourage you with this. It will change. Your black Christmas will not be black forever.
The colors are endless.
At its core, Christmas is full of color. The black of the world in turmoil, desperate and in need of breakthrough. The shining yellow star of hope piercing through the darkness. The white and pure Savior who was born to bring peace to the world. And the red love that was poured out from the throne room of heaven to a world in need.
Whatever color your Christmas, be encouraged and remember, the beautiful rainbow doesn’t exist without all of them.