I remember sitting in the back of your car, handcuffs on (I doubt I needed them since I had pigtails and a Biola sweatshirt on). I remember our conversation and your concern about my choices. I didn’t want to admit it, but I needed a voice of reason to wake me up from the destruction I was allowing into my life. You showed me that I was not invincible, which was something I had been believing and why my shoplifting days went on for so long. I simply and honestly wondered how long I could get away with it. Unbeknownst to me, with every stolen item, I was hardening my heart from what was true of my reality – I was lost. I thought I had full control. It was never about the products, as the guards said when they laughed at my stolen Frank Sinatra CD, it was about my heart and the lack of value and vision for my life.
Thank you for arresting me and putting an end to a cycle of rebellion and pride. I may never have the opportunity to thank you in person, so I am doing it now. Thank you for taking the time to talk to me as you took my fingerprints and for letting me know that I was worth more than my actions.
You would be happy to know, I turned out all right. The night I was caught was the last night I ever stole. I changed a lot of things in my life at that moment and I am now living in the reality that you spoke into me. I am more than my actions. I am a good person. I have a destiny.
I am a great citizen. I love my city and its people. I am a great person. I have yielded my life to the Lordship of Jesus and I live my life under His love and direction. I am a great mom. I am intentional with my kids, I’ve taught them about honor and integrity and how to value others. I am a leader in my community. I am involved in my church in a ministry that releases healing and freedom to those who have been affected by the same things that affected me in my youth. I’m a great wife. I’ve learned to value other people and their perspectives and learned how to submit my will to another. I am at peace with myself. I no longer look for opportunities to rebel against the system. I have a high value for government, rules, and structure.
If you saw me today, you wouldn’t recognize me from my mug shots or my sarcasm in the back seat of your car. But I am forever grateful that you took a moment to be a dad to me… ’cause I really needed it.
The prideful standoffish dork in the back seat of your police car -Christina