Who hates change? Show of hands…
I am in a season of an influx of change. Its coming at me left and right. From every facet of my life. I have been told I have to move: there are changes in my ministry life, parenting a teenager and an eight-year old is a constant juggling act, I am working two jobs and I had the silly notion I should start dating. If you know me, you know that change is not my friend, not even a little bit. I like to know what is happening, I like to know where my ducks are sitting in the row that they belong in and I am constantly trying to keep them in line. Too many, it may look like a six-foot tall crazy lady running around shouting, “I’m Fine!” at the top of her lungs while she hurries from one place to the next, but in my mind, the ducks are cooperating.
This week has been extra challenging for me. In fact, yesterday I literally said to God, “No more Lord, please.” But, the challenges kept coming. It sent me into a not so great attitude of “Really Lord?” and “Okay, fine, just keep it coming, BRING IT.” Do you ever have those moments? Where you throw your hands ups and tell God, FINE! If we’re being honest, we all do. As much as we love the Lord, we all get frustrated with His timing at different junctions in our lives. I will admit, this is not the first time for me, nor will it be the last. Over the last seven years, I have questioned God more often than I care to remember. I tend to forget His goodness, His faithfulness in moments when I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. Hey, I am just being real. I have failed in my faith more times than I can count. But, here is what is so great, He loves us anyway. He lets us throw our temper tantrums, stomp our feet, question His interaction in a situation. He lets us be honest with Him. And just like any good parent, through those times, He walks through it with us. He extends His grace to us even still. He reminds us we are not alone. These reminders for me, come in the form of different things. Often it’s a song, a sweet outburst of thankfulness from my daughter in the backseat (she is my pocket Holy Spirit) and through people.
Last night I was able to spend some time in fellowship with people who show God’s love so beautifully, each in their own unique way. Each of them knew I was having a rough day, and each of them loved me well and God made His presence in my change known. I was able to shift my focus and start to hear from a place of expecting favor and goodness rather than a place of expecting another thing to go wrong. As I woke up this morning, I was very clearly reminded that He only has the best for us and I need to chill out and be still.
“Be still and know that I am God” Psalms 46:10
“The Lord will fight for you, you only need be still” Exodus 14:14
“All God’s promises are YES and AMEN” 2 Cor 1:20
These verses called out to me this morning. Isn’t God so good? His word never returns void. Yes, I am still in the season of change, yes, there is still the same stress there was yesterday. BUT…GOD! He gave me a fresh perspective through His word and through His people. So, today, in the midst of all of this, I am comforted and my heart is calm and reassured. Sometimes our eyes fixate on the storm, when right next to us we have an umbrella and some rain boots. Thank you Jesus for covering me in all things.
Navigating the Change,