Adjustment. Uncomfortable. Yet I am somehow finding peace, joy and happiness in these words. If I had to explain my life the past few months, I would ask you to grab a cup of coffee or your favorite tea and sit down with me. To get a quick glimpse though you could read my last blog here.
Sometimes in life we get a curve ball and we have to adjust in order to hit it out of the park. If we were always comfortable would we want to make a change? I have learned that if I am just a little bit uncomfortable I tend to lean on Him to find peace. I praised God all through this last trail, my husband’s sickness could have been way worse than he was showing. After nine months of suffering from a painful sore on top of his head, we finally had a diagnosis. Pemphigus. Google it, I dare you. (Warning, the pictures are downright gross.)
Relief came and went like a hurricane. Fear tried to creep in. I decided to trust instead. Realizing this disease could have been in his mouth and crept down his throat, into his lungs helped me to see Jesus in this. Yes, he has pemphigus, yes, he is in a lot of pain, but he could still eat and breathe. Praise you Jesus!
I had an amazing experience at a women’s retreat a few months back which totally helped me from flipping out and becoming an anxiety train wreck. We were all asked to close our eyes and imagine going on this walk with Jesus. Jesus dug up this treasure chest and we were to open it with a key He gave us. I did, but when I opened it all I could see was pink. When I asked Jesus what was in the box, he just giggled. Then I looked over at God and he had this big belly laugh. Oh good, glad you both find this amusing. Joke is on me!
I spent the next twenty-four hours obsessing about this box. Finally, I sat down listening to the beautiful worship music. Just before hearing our last speaker deliver promises of joy, I looked up and saw painted on an old window the word “joy”. No, I still didn’t get it at that point; He took me deeper. I closed my eyes and then I saw that treasure box along with Jesus and God laughing. On the treasure box, it now read “joy”, then it turned into “Josh” (my husband), then “July”, then “healthy”. Wow!
When I left to the women’s retreat, my husband only had the sore on top of his head. A few weeks after I got home is when it spread to his chest and back. Talk about trusting the Lord. He basically just told me Josh would be healed and then I come home and he gets worse. Why? I needed to know he would be ok, even before he wasn’t ok. We are now headed into June and my husband is finally healing! His head is almost back to normal, he just has a few small sores on his body that are almost healed. The best part is, I can hug him again!
Jesus knew I would have to dig deep and trust. We just celebrated our eighteenth year of marriage and this trial has brought us closer than we have ever been. We are often laughing together instead of being so serious.
Is this trial over? No, far from it. Do we have a deeper love and trust for Christ? Yes! We also received joy and lots of it! I have learned that joy comes from leaning in and trusting Him through these hard times. When we do, He gives us access to His kingdom! I chose trust and got the truth which brought joy. In what ways can you choose trust today?
Always Praising Him,