I have never loved pictures of myself. I have been quick to point out my physical “flaws” to myself. I have been embarrassed of how I look. Admitting this is awkward because it feels so junior high-ish to my 37 year old ears.
This is starting to change. Not because I am becoming more beautiful. It’s changing because I am starting to listen to what Jesus has to say to me about who I am. This journey of asking Him about my identity is fascinating and so life giving. It’s simple really. “How do You see me Jesus?” and then stopping to listen.
Something He whispered to my heart that stopped me in my self deprecating tracks:
“Carry your beauty.”
I felt like He was showing me that He has poured out a unique reflection of Himself and put it in my hands. He says:
“Carry this, treasure this because it reflects Me, allow Me to use it to love the world around you.”
Obviously this isn’t referring to just outward beauty. It’s the whole package. It’s valuing what He made and created and acknowledging there is deep purpose to it. In a crazy upside-down way it’s not really about me! It’s about Him and His incredible love for Me. He says I am beautiful and valuable. Not because of what I have done, or because the world acknowledges or doesn’t acknowledge my beauty.
What if I just trusted and rested in it? What if I stopped hating pictures of myself and just thanked Him for His gift. His gift feels almost like an Olympic torch. Held high, treasured. There is a call to carry it.
Sometimes I get caught up in looking at others around me. Comparing to find better-than or less-than status. This is always a flawed scale. It produces a distorted view of myself and of others. What each of us carries is unique and precious – and made to be used to light the path for others.
What if we just believed what He said about us and walked as free beautiful people running after Him?
Ironically. Loving yourself because He loves you doesn’t produce narcissism. It produces freedom because you aren’t consumed with how horrible or glorious you think you are. You are just free.
I am convinced that seeking and learning your identity is a huge part of not just intimacy with Jesus but of being released into your calling.
“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.” Ephesians 2:10 NLT
Sarah Smith is a Seattle native, most comfortable in sweats with a cup of coffee in her hand. She loves her four sweet babies ages one to six, and spends her days chasing, kissing, wiping, feeding, cleaning, rescuing, laundering, and snuggling them.
She loves being married to her Canadian best friend husband of almost nine years and adventuring with him. In this stage of life “adventuring” looks a little more like trying a new restaurant on precious date nights, or taking the kids – anywhere – and a lot less like traveling to exotic places. Which is fine. It’s all about seasons and this is a precious one.
Sarah’s passion is walking in deep intimate relationship with Jesus and seeing Him bring freedom that is unlike anything else. She is on a journey of letting Him heal her heart and knowing the reality of His love.