Forgiveness has been a big struggle for me. I was never taught how to forgive. I don’t believe I ever heard that word in my home growing up. There was a lot of hatred. Repaying evil for evil.
Most of life I hated my Dad. My father was an alcoholic. When He was drinking He was abusive physically, emotionally, and verbally. I don’t remember Him ever going to any of my functions at school, saying that he loved me, that he was sorry for something he said or did to me. Ever! He didn’t know how.
I struggled with hating him. I tried to become invisible when he was around. I watched him beat my mom. I couldn’t have friends over because of the way He acted. I isolated myself at home. My mom was codependent and very afraid of Him, This taught me to fear along with setting up other strongholds in my life (they came as a package deal. The first one was free. The rest came with a heavy price to pay).
As an adult I numbed my feelings with alcohol, drugs and bad relationships. I really was looking for love but I didn’t know what it looked like or felt like. I just knew I wanted it badly.
In 1980 (36 years ago) I found love! I found the Father’s love. I began to read the Bible. I came to the Ten Commandments and stopped there. “Honor thy Mother and Father”, immediately I went to my pastor and told him that I didn’t know how to do that. He told me about forgiveness. He told me I had to do my part. I cried and cried night after night not knowing how to do this. I wanted to so badly but I had so much pain inside. I decided to let the Lord do all the heavy lifting for me. I just gave it to Him. Hurt after hurt, physical abuse, verbal abuse and all my hatred inside was surrendered layer after layer to God.
I was so hungry for the Father’s love. It was time to clean my spiritual house. It was time to love myself for the first time.
Five years after I accepted Jesus, my Dad was dying with cancer in the hospital. I decided to go see him and deal with my unforgiveness. I walked into his hospital room, looked him right in the eye and asked if he would forgive me if I let him down as a daughter, and that I was sorry. Before he could answer I also said, “I forgive you for everything you ever did to me and the hurt you caused me.” He looked at me and said, “What have I ever done to you?” I didn’t answer. I told him that I loved him. My mother decided that she would do the same thing. I read Psalms 23 to him every day I visited him in the hospital. A few days later my dad passed away. Before he died he excepted Jesus.
Forgiveness sets the captives free. Jesus broke the chains off of me that day. Yes, I heard them hit the floor. I’ve been living the last 36 years free of hatred, and unforgivnesss towards my Dad. I can truly say I love him. Forgiveness brings healing into some of the most hurtful situations
As I see it, I walked with a limp. I am thankful that the Lord uses my past for others to be set free. I trust those with limps will be healed.
In His Grip,
Char Fransz was born in Inglewood, Ca. She is the youngest of four, with fifteen years apart. Her parents moved to South Bay when she was in 6th grade. She was a bleached-blonde beach girl.
At the young age of 13, Char accepted the Lord at a Bill Gaither Crusade. However, the prime moment came for Char in 1980 at the age of 30; after many trials and adversities, she discovered the Father’s Love, and gave her heart, soul and everything to Him. This was the beginning of her ministry. Her desire since then has been to set the captives free through prayer and intercession. In the spirit, she loves to hear the chains and shackles fall to the floor while ministering to others.
Char became a hairstylist after high school. She worked for 15 years in the beach area. She loved doing hair, where she could use her creative side. Char has three children (ages 24-33) and one two-year old granddaughter. She married her best friend and husband for life 26 years ago, and with his three children, “we became his, mine and ours.” The children are all currently married and serving in the church.
Char and her husband are now empty-nesters. The Lord gave Char a heart for broken women. He trained, equipped and poured into her. He healed and released her so that she could do the same for broken people. He has used every wound, hurt and broken piece for His glory to glory. Not one piece of her story is unused, but redeemed!
Looking back, Char has discovered that, “I’ve been in good hands all along.” Char’s favorite saying is “I’m not retired, but Re-fired.”
See her posts here: https://herroar.com/author/charfransz/