Parent teacher conferences used to stress me out as a kid. I so desperately wanted to be a fly on the wall as my teacher reported to my parents, just how she perceived me and the quality of my school work.
One thing I could count on year after year, was the repeated comment from my teacher that I was a “good-quiet child” which my mom loved to hear. That is until I was in sixth grade. This teacher favored the loud, out spoken, highly interactive children. So being quiet and shy had a negative connotation attached to it. She felt like I was uninterested in what she was teaching because I was not participating in the discussions.
When my mom conveyed this information to me, I strived to raise my hand and participate more often to please the teacher, but it just wasn’t me. I feel I learned better and felt more comfortable, just listening. Not to mention, I was super self – conscious and worried what my class mates would think if, heaven forbid, I answered a question wrong.
From that day on, I admired the out spoken, high energy people and thought much less of myself because I was quiet. For most of my life I’ve been quiet in large settings. My husband and I have both been told that first impressions of me are that I’m unsociable, snobby and/or stuck up. I’ve changed a lot as I’ve grown in the Lord and we don’t hear this any more, but nonetheless, we heard it enough to frustrate me. I so desperately just wanted to be me, but always felt pressure to act like someone I’m not.
This has caused so much jealousy in me towards women who are very charismatic and high energy. Because I longed for what they have and I would actually end up not liking them. That is until just recently one of my friends/clients told me, that the reason she likes meeting with me is because I have such a calm/quiet spirit.
I processed this with God and realized I’m so calm and quiet because I have great faith in Him and he showed me a verse in the bible,
But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
1 Peter 3:4
I love how He made me and now I embrace it. Yes, we need those high energy, charismatic, motivating people. But we also need the calm, quiet people that motivate our faith in God.
When my son who is now 20 years old, was an adolescent, He use to say “Be who you are, not what people want you to be!” He is the best example of this, He endured so much persecution growing up for just trying to be himself, rather than fitting into any box! Now he’s a leader helping others to embrace their identity in Christ.
Don’t let people rob you of who you are! Embrace your Godly character, we need you just the way God made you!
Identity Theft Restorer,