Let me tell you a little bit about me. I’m a wife, a mom to three kids and I work as a part-time pastor in a wonderful church. It’s my joy and honor to serve Jesus and shepherd his people. But it’s not all sunshine and roses. I just had a crazy long stretch of sixteen days of being gone every night of the week. So many activities, so many people in need! But I am wiped out and sick from exhaustion. Now whose fault is that, you might ask? Well, let me tell you! It’s nobody’s fault but my own! I take full responsibility for not managing myself well, and for poor planning of my schedule.
My daughter looked at me in the car and said, “Mom, you need boundaries. You are going to church again? You need to spend time with me. You need to spend time with your children.”
Wow. First of all, I’m just delighted that my nine-year-old daughter is so healthy that she is able to recognize what’s wrong with this picture and that she can articulate her needs so clearly. Yeah! Out of the mouths of babes…
But back to me. I take full responsibility for having a bad stretch of being gone every night for sixteen days in a row. Proverbs 25:28 says, “A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without a wall.” We usually look at that verse and think this lack of self-control is associated with drinking, partying, gambling and things of that outright sinful nature. But as I look at this verse, I am completely convicted about my lack of self-control and self-management as it relates to my time. I’ve said yes to so many urgent “good” things, that I’ve not been able to keep in what’s also truly valuable – like time with my family, time to exercise and rest, time to soak deeply with Jesus to get filled up with his love.
I have been working on my schedule this week and I’m carefully cutting things out, saying no to meetings and giving myself room to breathe. Tonight, I spent time with my daughter playing board games, which she loves so much. I am back in control of myself…the city is no longer broken or left without walls. Thank you Jesus for new beginnings!