I studied vocal performance in college. It was my dream to be a world-renown opera singer by night, and a night club, hole in the wall, jazz singer by late-late night. In some measure it always was a dream in my heart. As a girl I would put on plays with my sisters for family holidays. In fourth grade I was exposed to my first live musical, The Phantom of the Opera. I remember spending hours singing and memorizing the entire score. My favorite memories are random moments with my dad, when he would come into my room to rehearse with me. He was a charming Raoul and I, of course, flawlessly performed the rest of the entire cast.
Then in tenth grade I fell in love with classical music and started to expose myself to the enticing and splendid world of opera. I traveled to a few places in Europe to visit the future theaters I would perform in. I practiced and auditioned for any and everything I could in my teens to gain as much experience on stage as time would allow.
After my freshman year of college and some problems that came with it changed the course of my dream, I went to cosmetology school. I cleverly devised a new plan in my mind. I could travel with a touring group as a makeup and hair artist and secretly make a name for myself by my talent and witty personality. (Just in case anything happened to one of the cast members, I could be grafted in as an understudy).
I’m only 34, I still have time to go after it! However, when I was pregnant with my first child at 21 the dream slipped farther and farther away. I named my daughter before she left my womb, Aria. An aria is a beautiful solo piece of music that a lead performer sings in an opera. I named her Aria because I knew her life was a representation of the greatest thing I was ever going to sing or produce. Even in my twenties, I somehow was aware that my kids are my greatest legacy.
This is my strong “why”, that I have to remind myself of every so often since now my greatest performances seem to be wrapped up in self-control throughout the day. (Although, I’m sure my sons would rather me turn into She-Hulk like I threaten every so often.) On the days where I blow it and miss opportunities to nurture their process, I don’t spend time anymore in guilt and regret. I am quick to apologize and repent (to them and to the Lord). Then I reset and start trying again.
Nothing in life happens by accident. Not even the favor of the Lord is an accident. It takes intentional choices to pursue the things that we want. We can want until we are blue in the face but we actually have to discipline our self-will into a place to achieve and obtain the things we want. Good intentions lie dormant until we act.
I have poured many hours into reading parenting books, the Bible, trying new things, listening to podcasts and asking trusted friends who have “been there and done that” for advice and help to accomplish my dream with my kids. The greatest tools I have picked up along the journey so far are, first, consistency is a jewel and, second, the goal of my parenting relationship is connection with my kids’ heart.
Now I have three kids. I have taken whatever gifts, talents, grit and passions that I have and multiplied them by three other human beings to impact the world! I know they are going to be greater than I ever will be and go father than I will ever go in life! I have committed to give all I am to them so they can be the best, most healthy versions of themselves, and serve the King of Kings! In the same way that I poured myself into the dreams of my youth I have chosen to pour myself into the dream of discipling my kids into a lifestyle of being a friend of God.
Please share with us in the comments, what the greatest dream is in your heart and what are you actively doing to pursue it! It has always been our hope that this blog would be a place to virtually connect with women around the world. We would love to hear from you and share resources for our journeys together.
Redefined By Grace,