The SBD. Most commonly known as the fart that’s “Silent But Deadly.” You know them…whether it’s our own (oddly, somehow our own aren’t so bad), the husband’s (gross!), or sometimes the most deadly…the dog’s! But those are not the SBD’s I’m referring to.
“Oh good, I was a bit scared you were going to talk about farts.” Sigh of relief? Well, I’m not taking about farts…I’m talking about sex! Yup, sex. SORRY, NOT SORRY!
Many years ago a girlfriend told me about her and her husband’s dating practice of SBD, and while my mind immediately went to the Silent But Deadly, what she explained has become the most valuable piece of dating advise I’ve ever received. I pass it onto you, with love.
The SBD I’m referring to is what is called “Sex Before Date/Dinner.” Listen friends, we’ve all had it happen to us. We get dressed up for a date with our sexy husband (or wife) and we are looking good. Our date is looking fine. The flirting is flowing and the sexual innuendos are on point. Date nights are vital to keep any marriage alive and even if it’s not an actual date, any excuse to call it one works great too! Back to the hot date…the touching, the eyes, the anticipation of what’s going to happen when we get home…super sexy!
And then it happens. You eat too much at dinner. You know you should have stopped at two dinner rolls, but they were so good! Hello, honey butter! Seriously, you didn’t know the dinner portions would be that big! The dessert was your favorite and you couldn’t pass it up….it wasn’t your fault that your date didn’t eat as much of it as you thought they would. So now you roll out of the restaurant and head to the movies. The idea of an 8:00 pm movie sounded great in theory. It gives you plenty of time for dinner and walking around. We’re young and fun right? But then the movie is more than two hours and you’re nodding off in the theatre because you’re stuffed from dinner and it’s late. Remember, you haven’t been sitting around doing nothing all day…you have a packed life and the kids get up early! By the time the movie is over, you’re tired, your belly is still full from dinner, and the thought of getting home, putting on your comfy pants and going to bed is glorious.
But wait…..what about the sexy time! What about the talk, flirting, and anticipation? Ugh…can we just do it tomorrow? It’s not that I don’t want to, but we’re both tired and not feeling it now.
Friends! This must stop! Might I suggest the SBD? Yes, that’s right, Sex Before the Date!
As you’re getting ready for your night, stop what you’re doing….and DO IT! Before you leave the house, sneak it in. Or, if you have to drop the kids off at the sitters, drop them off and get it on! Finding that hidden parking spot is half the fun!
You may be asking, “but what about the fun of the sexual tension on the date? Doesn’t doing it beforehand take the wind out of the sails?” NOPE! It’s actually just as good, if not better! First, it helps you to start off the date super connected, not having to scroll through the stuff of the day, or shake off the chaos of the week in order to arrive at that connection. And let me level with you, there is nothing cuter and more attractive than my husband’s “I’ve conquered and succeeded, big time” confidence. Or the blushing and flushed cheeks that give it all away and say, “Oh yea, we just had a great time.”
Trust me. It works. And it’s better than the disappointment that comes when one missed opportunity turns into days or weeks of no action…you get me?
Let’s stay connected and passionate in our marriages! Let’s be creative and intentional when it comes to our sex life. Let’s worship the Lord by honoring what He created to be awesome! Yup, I said it and I mean it…hot married sex is worship!