It’s the end of the week, and finally, all is quiet and I am exhausted. I should close my eyes so I can awake refreshed. Instead, two hours later I’m watching a thrilling movie, I am wide awake with my own venturesome thoughts.
What was the last survivalist movie you watched, the kind where all is failing? It looks like the end of the line and hope may be lost! Those good films that will keep you guessing, wondering how it’s going to end with heart throbbing moments, then it takes a turn and suddenly all is good again. There are many of us who will pay big money to sit for two hours to be enthralled for an emotional roller coaster ride on the big screen. But what if survival is more than a two-hour movie? What if it has become everyday life?
Well, hello that feels like me! I have endured life struggles and pain. However, survival is not my life goal nor the end of my road. The same is true for you dear reader. At times, we all feel like survival mode is never going to ease up. Personally, the last five years has awkwardly clamped onto my ankle, pulling harshly like razor-sharp jaws from a daunting shark. Five years is not long, compared to some of your journeys. The tough times that seem to keep plundering my family with downward spirals of heavy loads expand my sense of time relentlessly. You would think by now, after years of prayer and cries for relief, survival would cease and I would thrive. I’m strong for the most part until the heartache of experiencing my own child doubting God’s goodness. What seems to feel like my own never-ending disaster movie keeps going and going. But I refuse to be stuck here. So I declare to my soul as I sit at the Lord’s feet and feel the powerful presence of the Lord strengthen me….
In all that I have been through
In all the waves that have crashed over my head
It is not all for loss…
My heart may be crushed
Or my legs may be weakened
My eyes may not see clearly
My mind may trounce around
But one thing for sure
I know the Lord
And He is my God
Faithful and all-knowing.
He is worthy and He is my King!
Tears may flow down my face…
But one thing for sure, I am not forgotten
I am loved and I love Jesus!
Honored and awed by his endless grace,
I worship Him even in the presence of pain or silence or doubt or trial
He brings me comfort and peace.
I will continue to pray!
I will continue to believe.
I will NOT give up.
Nothing I have experienced is in vain, one day I may be able to make more sense of it all. But this I know, the Lord wastes nothing! If you need prayer let me know in the comments and I will pray for you as I declare the truth over your situation and mine. We may be in it but we are not stuck!
May my prayer be set before you like incense;
may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.
Psalm 141:2 NIV