I have been a self protector all my life! There were many things that happened from my childhood to early adulthood where I was not protected. This is what caused me to be hyper-vigilant and self-protective. So much so that no one could penetrate the fortress I had created around my heart. Not even Jesus, there was only so far He could get in. How the Lord dealt with my trust issue with Him as my protector was an amazing experience!
Jesus showed me in my mind, a picture of myself in a cell alone (self-protection). No one could get in, not even Him. He was on the outside looking at me with those eyes of compassion. I knew without any words what He was telling me, “It’s time to make the transfer!” He wanted to take my place in the lonely cell and deal with all the torture of fear, darkness and pain, that comes in that place. He was going to take it all. At that moment, when I realized He was going to experience it all…I cried so hard knowing how much torture is in that cell, I lived it every day of my life.
“Who gave himself as a ransom for all people.” 1 Timothy 2:6
Was it for me not to accept His offer, to withhold what was paid for? For what purpose would I not make the transfer? He was there, ready, willing to trade places with me so I could be free. Would I waste His suffering, the suffering of my Savior?
I walked out! I turned around and looked at Him and He was so peaceful and full of love! In His eyes was one more message…”Close the cell door!” I did! I wept! I was finally free.
It was very important that I close that door. In the past, I would get to a place of freedom and then be triggered by something and go right back in. It was a very familiar place for me to go, closing the door gave me the perfected freedom.
This was an incredible encounter with the Lord that went way back into my past, and into the present, and future…
I was able to get to this place by inviting the Lord into my pain, fear and emotions when they seem to overpower me. I ask Him what He has to say about it and where was He when this or that was happening to me. He came in and changed the experience with a word or his presence or, as in this case, a vision in my mind.
When I first started walking with the Lord in 2004, I was a very broken person. I read the Bible and it talked about all this freedom I could have. I had the faith that it was for me to have and would stop at nothing to get all that Jesus paid for, for me!
I found some great people to sit with in a prayer-type session (inner healing/ freedom prayer) that helped me walk through all my pain and got me to a place of freedom. Then I was able to apply this by myself as things came up that were overwhelming to me and we’re triggers to me.
“It is for freedom He has set me free!” Galatians 5:1
So, we don’t have to live this way stuck, trapped and immobilized by our past!
I dare you…Get free!