Ashes to ashes and dust to dust. We are gathered here today to lay to rest my online dating experience.
I had only known eHarmony for about four months. But, within that time, it taught me so much. As I began the journey with my new friend, I was excited and full of hope. I was expecting big things from this. I had patiently waited years to start something with eHarmony. I had prayed and sought counsel. I took the plunge.
And then…NOTHING. Well, nothing productive and nothing close to anything I want in my life. Ladies, you should have seen some of the questions I was asked or the propositions that were made. This is a pretty PG page, so I will just leave it at that.
The insecurity that came along with online dating was overwhelming. I would open the site and see an empty message box, a strange match or a weirdo wanting to “hook up” and the thoughts that would race through my mind went something like this…”Is my double chin showing too much?”, “ He must be out of his d$$n mind” or “Can he see my seven years alone written on my face in that picture”, “I must not be pretty enough” and “What do you mean you don’t like sci-fi?” It…was…excruciating. I started to question everything about myself and everything about who God had said I am. The enemy got in and he got in good. I started speaking out those insecurities and they started showing up in my everyday thoughts and interactions with people. You can guess how fun I was to be around.
I was alone one night, well I am alone every night, hence the online dating. I was praying and just sitting with the Lord and He very clearly called out all the wonderful things in me and reminded me that He has someone for me. It may not be the timing I want or the way I think it’s going to happen, but he is out there. My husband is being prepared for me as I am being prepared for him. Trying to force God to bring that person before it is time ain’t gonna happen. I can’t force the Lord to do anything. He works in the best timing, not the most convenient. He knows so deeply the desires of my heart and wants those things for me more than I do.
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart’s desires.
So, as we say goodbye to eHarmony today, let us remember Tony, the 5’4″ self-employed Frozen fan from Oceanside (I am 6 foot, people). Larry, the investment banker who loves his car more than anything and calls it Betty. Paul aka Judgy McJudgerson, the non-fun-haver and judge-of-all things. Scott, the player that wants nothing more than a one-night stand. Carl, the somewhat toothless gentleman that is “wooking vor wuv” in all the wrong places. And many, many more. Rest in Peace.